May 7, 2024 Meeting notes
Tuesday evening about 13 of us got together, despite the frightening weather reports. We had 3 new people join us, one, a sibling from out of state who experienced the death of his brothers and the other, a young couple who, very recently, experienced the trauma of a mid-pregnancy death of their son. Our hearts go out to all three of them and we hope we can provide them a safe landing space as they navigate their individual grief paths.
As Mother’s and Father’s Day rapidly approach, we talked a bit about the days- how we plan to acknowledge them….or if we plan on doing so. Some were going to purposefully ignore the day while others had some plans…..family getting together for a quiet time to honor mom (or dad, in June) for one. I seem to recall someone saying it would be a day to work in the garden (I keep hoping they mean working in my garden, but I think that was wishful thinking!)
Which reminds me of something we always suggest to people. Over the decades that Ed and I have been associated with TCF we have heard over and over how much the anticipation of a special day was more stressful than the actual day. Whether it be a special occasion or significant date, the angst keeps growing as our minds create all sorts of scenarios- none good. Advice we were given when we were new to this experience is now advice we pass on. Make a plan. Our lives, especially in those earliest days, seem so out of control. If we take control whenever we can, it helps to decrease some of those helpless feelings. Making a plan doesn’t have to mean plan a party- it can be a plan to hide under your covers with a bag of potato chips OR you could plan on attending the holiday dinner- at the same time having a plan B should you wake that morning and not feel ready for plan A. Maybe it is your loved one’s birthday you are anticipating. Some people organize a toy drive for a local shelter- in honor of their loved one. Acts of kindness serve two purposes- #1 – helps those in need and #2 – keeps your mind busy.
So make your plan…..keep it simple and have giving yourself grace to back out as part of your plan.
We also had a craft activity this night. With various shaped and sized rocks, outdoor acrylic paints and stencils, we created some pretty snazzy garden decorations. This is something you can easily do at home to create a little memorial spot!
Our May dinner out will be the 3rd Thursday, May 16th – location yet to be decided.
And remember………mom/dad/grandparent/sibling…..all “titles” that are forever. Even when our loved ones are no longer physically with us. Wishing the moms and grandmas a Mother’s Day filled with precious memories and whatever makes you feel at least somewhat at peace.
Karen