March 2024 Meeting Notes

This month’s meeting was one to which I was really looking forward.  Angie Grimsley, from the Cinci East chapter, joined us for a session of Grief Yoga.  As we continue to learn more and more about the connection between our brain and our bodies, we also become more aware of how emotional trauma can impact our physical health.

 Grief Yoga is not exactly what you think of when you think about yoga so if you are not a fan of yoga, you may well become a fan of Grief Yoga.  And, if you are a fan of yoga, you will appreciate this, as well.

 After introductions, the 10 of us began our experience.

 The first exercise we did was related to our breathing.  As we have learned, when we our senses are in a heightened state- whether grief, fear, etc., we tend to hold our breaths, tighten and curl around our core and this affects our whole body.  So Angie invited us to practice various breathing methods:

1)    Square Breathing

a.     In square breathing you slowly inhale to a count of 4, hold your breath for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 4 and hold your breath for a count of 4.  You repeat this exercise a number of times.

2)    Nasal Breathing

a.     In nasal breathing we used a closed fist with just our pinky finger and thumb extended.  We alternated compressing one nostril with our thumb or pinky finger, inhaling, then compressing the other nostril and exhaling.  So you are inhaling through one nostril and exhaling through the other.  When you exhale you then inhale through that same nostril and exhale through the other.  Always compressing one nostril or the other.

 The idea of these exercises is to relax and by focusing on what you are supposed to be doing you are breathing without focusing on your pain, so hopefully breathing more easily, more fully.

 Next Angie invited us to get in touch with our bodies by gently massaging from our scalp on down, becoming aware of where we are holding our grief. 

 The next exercise dealt with what we have always referred to as the shoulda/woulda/coulda’s.  “If only I had called him sooner.”  “If only I made him see a counselor.”  “If only I didn’t let her go out at night.” “If only I had taken her to a doctor sooner.” And on and on.  She invited us to visualize a garden and within this garden were many weeds- representing our negative thoughts.  She asked us to name the weeds, ex.  “This weed is my guilt.”  and pull it out and toss it away.  I think the point of this wasn’t that it would absolve us of our feelings, but more to make us aware of them and aware of how those regrets, feelings of guilt were adding to our pain and therefore our physical and mental well-being.

 Next we participated in general stretching exercises.  Pretty self-explanatory.

 And next we engaged in another visualization exercise, this time imagining we could hold our grief, sense what it feels like- is it heavy? A certain color?  Is there anything we could do to change it?

 And finally, we practiced relaxing every part of our body.  I remember Stacy Sims walking us through a similar exercise where we would first tense up a body part and then relax it, starting at our head and working our way down.

 Obviously, nothing is going to take away the pain of experiencing the death of a loved one but it is a good feeling to realize we do have some control over our reactions, our body and mind’s responses.  When our children/grandchildren/siblings died we kind of went into a free fall.  Life was totally out of control and that is frightening.  It is a good feeling to know we can have even the tiniest bit of control, which we can then use to build it stronger.  Huge thanks to Angie!

 The remainder of the evening was just casual chatter, which was also nice.

 Last chance to join us this Sunday, March 10th from 11am – 3pm for a workshop with Stacy Sims.  You have to RSVP which you can easily do by responding to this email.

 Our next dinner out will be Thursday, March 21st at 6:30pm at Sorrentos.  5143 Montgomery Rd, Cincinnati, OH 45212